i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
