If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
