Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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