No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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