Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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