Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
