No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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