new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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