I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
