that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
