Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
