Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
