Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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