Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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