I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
