a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
