Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
