dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
