just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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