that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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