did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
