I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
