Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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