I can feel you judging me through the phone.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
