How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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