playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
