Where is the hickey?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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