we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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