good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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