didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
