it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
