I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
