Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
