Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
