Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
