i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
