that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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