hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
