he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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