Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
