I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
