That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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