Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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