Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
