remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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