I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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