wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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