if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
