God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
