It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and she was petting her beer can
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
